How I Discovered Money Dysmorphia Was Ruining My Life

For years, I chased money. I built two million- dollar companies, wrote a best-selling book, was appearing regularly on television as a family, financial and legal expert, had a house a half a block from the beach, the kids in private school… the whole nine.

By anyone’s standards, I had made it.

I should have felt prosperous and abundant, but I didn’t.

I had a great business, and the ability to make all the money I could have possibly needed, and yet I was emotionally and financially bankrupt.

It stemmed from a core belief I carried with me from childhood.

This core belief led me to make consistently bad decisions about how I used my time, my energy, and my attention— resources I will never be able to get back. I hurt relationships that will never recover. And, the truth is, I didn’t really know how to have relationships because the only thing I really thought about when it came to relationships was how much the relationship would cost me, or how much it would make me.

While I considered myself someone who cared about people, that caring was mostly trapped beneath a dis-ease of epic proportions that nearly ruined my life. I came to call it Money Dysmorphia.

I've since discovered that it's a disease many people have, and it’s extremely difficult to see or diagnose because it’s so commonplace in our current culture.

In fact, you just might have this disease yourself. And, if you do, it really doesn’t matter how much money you make, it will never be enough. If you have Money Dysmorphia yourself, you’ll never feel prosperous or abundant - no matter how much you have. There will never be enough. It's one of the symptoms of Money Dysmorphia. Even if you rationally know you have plenty, you'll worry about losing it all the time, or whether you are using it wisely. It'll be very difficult, if not impossible, to enjoy.

Instead, what you will likely do is constantly compromise your life, your time, your energy, your attention, and your relationships.

The worst part is, you may not even know you are doing it.

If you have it, this disease is blinding because it makes you think you don’t have what you need, and that you must compromise because if you don’t, you’ll starve, or be homeless, or never be able to support yourself, or not be good enough, or never prove it to them, or  … well, you know the stories, I am sure, because you’ve got your own personal version of it, probably secretly motivating you, any possibly even in ways you can’t even see.

As a result of Money Dysmorphia, you have thoroughly convinced yourself you have to work that job you hate, or stay in that marriage or relationship you can’t stand, or go to that event you really don’t want to go to, or be friends with that person you would rather just not, or invest in that company that you know is hurting the planet, or buy that disposable thing because you can’t afford the one that’s more expensive, but won’t end up in the landfill, or not do that thing you really want to do, and you just know would change your life …

… because, well, you don’t have enough money to make a different choice.

Do you see what I’m saying here?

You long for fulfillment, well-being, prosperity and to feel healthy and whole; yet every choice you make is based on a diseased reality, a distorted view.

How much would you have to have before you stopped compromising?

It doesn’t matter. Because if you are compromising now, there’s no amount of money that will ever be enough, not until you see the disease that has been running your life, wake up from it, and start making your choices with your eyes wide open, clear, sober, awake and aware.

The worst part about Money Dysmorphia is that it can cause you to forget that money is infinitely renewable. You can always, always, always make more money. But once you’ve given up your time, your energy and your attention, it’s gone forever.

The good news is that once you see your Money Dysmorphia, you can begin to awaken to right relationship with time, money and how you get paid, in a way that will bring you all the money you want and need and help you to understand the true purpose of your life.